I'm not behind.

I'm not slacking.  I'm not stressed. I'm not tired.


This is not just wishful thinking.

This is also not true.

It's somewhere in the middle.


Everyone has a go-to answer for the "how are you" question.  For some it's "good" or "eh."  For some it's "Blessed and highly favored!"  My answer in High School was always "I'm tired."or "I'm busy." It got to the point that people assumed I was tired and assumed I was busy.  I would walk in and people would ask me how tired I was.  Or greet me with, "Hey! You look tired...."  Who wants to be greeted with that??  There would be days when I was wide awake, but I was accused me of being tired because I had given "tired" as an answer so many times.  There were times when I was actually free, but people assumed I had a packed schedule.

Being told you're tired makes you more tired...

Being told you have too much to do makes you feel like you can't get anything done.

So I finally decided to change my answer.

The only problem is that I, unknowingly, replaced it with an answer that's worse. "I'm behind." or "I need to practice more." or "I have too many things on my to-do list."  It's not necessarily what my actual short answer is when someone asks how I am; but, the conversation always ends up on how behind I am on practice, or school stuff, ect. ect.  It stresses me out.

So, I'm changing my answer.  Again.  This is important as I start my last semester of classes.  As I prepare for my Senior-recital (to which all of you should come).  I WILL NOT stress out about a lack of practice.  I will not stress out about not finishing homework.  I will not stress out about not preparing enough for small group.

I will not stress out.  And I really hope no one asks me how stressed out I am.

Do you ever use stress as a conversation starter?  It's easy isn't it?  I think that will be the most difficult thing about "not being stressed."  What will people talk to me about?!  I don't have an answer for "what are you doing after you graduate?"  So the conversation might die pretty quickly...  Oh well.  I need to work on people skills and coming up with good conversation anyway.

Now, the important thing in all of this is the reason I'm not stressing out.  I won't stress out because I WILL be productive.  The less time I spend stressing over the lack of, could be time that I could be making up for the lack of.  No getting so overwhelmed that I can't start.

Now for the music. :)

I told someone that the next song I would put up would be in English.  Well, .... I lied.


The Artist: Celtic Woman

It was between two songs, one of which was in Elvish (yes, from Lord of the Rings).  The other song is in an language the composer invented and has no "official" meaning.  Both from soundtracks.  Both covers.

The first song was "May it Be" originally by Enya.  I actually like Enya's version better, so I went with the second choice: "Now We Are Free."  Originally by Lisa Gerrard, written for the movie Gladiator.

(Sorry for the sparkly video background.  It's really annoying, don't watch it, just listen)



Now We Are Free • Celtic Woman